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meditation:meditation_advice [2023-07-26 00:54] – created awfkimeditation:meditation_advice [2023-07-26 00:58] (current) – awfki
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 ====== Meditation Advice ====== ====== Meditation Advice ======
 Is meditation your newest and shiniest toy?  Go to [[Advice for Beginners]] and I'll give you my version of the straight scoop. Is meditation your newest and shiniest toy?  Go to [[Advice for Beginners]] and I'll give you my version of the straight scoop.
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- <nowiki>Get an app, Headspace is my recommendation* but they're all good. Start small and work your way up. Don't let yourself get discouraged. There is no right or wrong, just sit. Your mind WILL wander and that's okay. Everyone's mind wanders. The important part is when you notice and you go back to the breath. You don't have to use your breath as a focus. That annoying noise? Stop resisting it and use it as your focus, or use that itch in your foot. (But mostly use your breath because it's right there all the time and it's convenient to bring along when you travel.)+ <poem> 
 +Get an app, Headspace is my recommendation* but they're all good. Start small and work your way up. Don't let yourself get discouraged. There is no right or wrong, just sit. Your mind WILL wander and that's okay. Everyone's mind wanders. The important part is when you notice and you go back to the breath. You don't have to use your breath as a focus. That annoying noise? Stop resisting it and use it as your focus, or use that itch in your foot. (But mostly use your breath because it's right there all the time and it's convenient to bring along when you travel.)
  
 If you're like me, hopefully not, it may take a year before you begin to notice changes. I think early on I probably came out of each session feeling more relaxed so it's not like there was no benefit at all. I just think I ran on faith for quite a while before I started to see places outside meditation where my mind would start down a path and I'd catch it and point it in a more useful direction. If you're like me, hopefully not, it may take a year before you begin to notice changes. I think early on I probably came out of each session feeling more relaxed so it's not like there was no benefit at all. I just think I ran on faith for quite a while before I started to see places outside meditation where my mind would start down a path and I'd catch it and point it in a more useful direction.
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 I think this consistency is useful for a beginner. Sometimes he says "begin in the usual way" and I was very encouraging for me that I had a usual way. I think this consistency is useful for a beginner. Sometimes he says "begin in the usual way" and I was very encouraging for me that I had a usual way.
  
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 I just passed the three year mark and have only noticed real changes in the last few months.  I'm sure there must have been something in those three years that kept me going but I couldn't tell you what it was.  I'm not saying it'll take you three years, only that it did me.  Hang in there. I just passed the three year mark and have only noticed real changes in the last few months.  I'm sure there must have been something in those three years that kept me going but I couldn't tell you what it was.  I'm not saying it'll take you three years, only that it did me.  Hang in there.
  
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 A couple of comments on things you said: A couple of comments on things you said:
-I still get distracted by thought every few seconds while meditating+> I still get distracted by thought every few seconds while meditating
 You and everyone else. The important thing is that you notice you're distracted. Over time you focus a little longer but mostly you notice the distractions faster.  You might also notice that rather than disappearing your thoughts fade into the background. The voice of your thoughts becomes like a TV that's on in another room.  That's fine. You're watching the breath, the thoughts are flowing through but you're not engaging.  Because you're not engaging there's no need to even note or go "back to the breath" because you never left. You and everyone else. The important thing is that you notice you're distracted. Over time you focus a little longer but mostly you notice the distractions faster.  You might also notice that rather than disappearing your thoughts fade into the background. The voice of your thoughts becomes like a TV that's on in another room.  That's fine. You're watching the breath, the thoughts are flowing through but you're not engaging.  Because you're not engaging there's no need to even note or go "back to the breath" because you never left.
-I find it relaxing sometimes and almost painful others.+> I find it relaxing sometimes and almost painful others.
 Those are both fine.  Don't judge. Good and bad are thoughts in your head and you're learning to only engage those thoughts on your terms. Know that this is a long term project, not a quick fix. If you sit and you feel like it was great then be happy about that but know that it won't be like that everyday. If you sit and you struggle and you feel it was crap then the only thing that's wrong is you judging it. You sat, that's a win, take it and be proud of it and do it again tomorrow. Those are both fine.  Don't judge. Good and bad are thoughts in your head and you're learning to only engage those thoughts on your terms. Know that this is a long term project, not a quick fix. If you sit and you feel like it was great then be happy about that but know that it won't be like that everyday. If you sit and you struggle and you feel it was crap then the only thing that's wrong is you judging it. You sat, that's a win, take it and be proud of it and do it again tomorrow.
  
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 Don't judge. Good and bad are ideas that live in your brain. In that vein, don't worry about progress. You will worry about progress, just don't get hung up on it. Don't judge. Good and bad are ideas that live in your brain. In that vein, don't worry about progress. You will worry about progress, just don't get hung up on it.
  
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 I'm super sympathetic here as I'm the same way. The human mind is a pattern-matching story machine. If it can find a pattern it will make a story about it. Doesn't matter if the story is true, it just needs a story. If it can't find a pattern it will invent one and then make a story about it. I'm very wary of telling myself untrue stories, especially about my own progress or lack thereof. The best answer I've found is back at the beginning of this post: don't judge. Just sit and have faith that there will be progress. At the very least you've had 10 minutes of quiet time. I'm super sympathetic here as I'm the same way. The human mind is a pattern-matching story machine. If it can find a pattern it will make a story about it. Doesn't matter if the story is true, it just needs a story. If it can't find a pattern it will invent one and then make a story about it. I'm very wary of telling myself untrue stories, especially about my own progress or lack thereof. The best answer I've found is back at the beginning of this post: don't judge. Just sit and have faith that there will be progress. At the very least you've had 10 minutes of quiet time.
  
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 Assuming you have a mobile phone there are a number of apps that offer free trials. Assuming you have a mobile phone there are a number of apps that offer free trials.
  
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 Note that all of the above applies to mindfulness meditation, there are other types but mindfulness is very popular in the US at the moment. Note that all of the above applies to mindfulness meditation, there are other types but mindfulness is very popular in the US at the moment.
  
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 The overly long comment mentioned above. The overly long comment mentioned above.
 https://www.reddit.com/r/Meditation/comments/95o0vs/headspace_or_calm/e3uhks5/ https://www.reddit.com/r/Meditation/comments/95o0vs/headspace_or_calm/e3uhks5/
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 It was not my intention to write a Headspace ad, it's just the one I know best. You definitely want Insight Timer, even if you just use the timer. It was not my intention to write a Headspace ad, it's just the one I know best. You definitely want Insight Timer, even if you just use the timer.
  
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 The Mind Illuminated takes you through the whole journey and can be read in parts or used as reference. The Mind Illuminated takes you through the whole journey and can be read in parts or used as reference.
  
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 Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind by Shunryu Suzuki Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind by Shunryu Suzuki
  
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 +----
 Okay, you're totally judgmental now. Maybe tomorrow will be different, but only if you do something to change it. Human brains are amazing. We can actually rewire them over time. We can unlearn bad habits and learn better ones. You can unlearn bad habits and learn better ones. Okay, you're totally judgmental now. Maybe tomorrow will be different, but only if you do something to change it. Human brains are amazing. We can actually rewire them over time. We can unlearn bad habits and learn better ones. You can unlearn bad habits and learn better ones.
  
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 >sink_flower432 >sink_flower432
-What do you mean by smile? Like literlally?+What do you mean by smile? Like literally?
  
 >Awfki >Awfki
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 I would actually recommend that. Just a tiny turn up at the corners helps very much to take yourself a little more lightly. I would actually recommend that. Just a tiny turn up at the corners helps very much to take yourself a little more lightly.
  
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-</nowiki>+</poem>