I don't really blog but this is a place where I can do bloggish things.
Blog
Very present recently
That's all, just a note that the last few days (which were vacation until today) have involved a lot of headlessness.
62 books this year
Mucking around on LibraryThing and noticed one of those 75 book challenges and was curious how many books I've read this year. It's a PITA to find out because they don't have a search on date fields but a general search, then export, then sort and…
I've read 62 books! Hmmm, maybe that shouldn't have been in the title. 🤷♀️
There's another two that will get finished shortly and 10 that got abandoned.
The universe moved a pillow today
Follow up to this morning, which was not actually this morning, it was several mornings ago but “this morning” is what I named the blog post because I am not good at naming things.
So anyway, in “this morning” there was the universe drying it's face. That was an example of things happening without my direction. My body knows how to do a lot of stuff without input from me. I intend for a thing to happen and the body makes it so. Today I was changing the sheets. My brain was being pretty chatty and occasionally I would think “sheets” to remind it that in the here/now there were sheets being changed. The brain was calming down as things progressed and then I started to move to the other side of the bed when my body stopped to grab the pillow that was still on the floor and put it on the bed. I didn't tell my body to do that, I just watched while it did it.
After the sheets I meditated for a fair while. My first formal, seated meditation in quite some time. I looked for me but I didn't have any luck finding me. I drifted off twice and at times it was pretty noisy. A nice search though.
This morning
This morning I had an odd experience. I was reading Awake and brushing my teeth and was very chill and my mind was quiet. I finished and rinsed and walked a few feet to the towel to dry my face and as I did that it felt like I wasn't doing it. I noticed the odd sensation and the thought “the universe is drying it's face” floated through my mind and got a smile, but I had the distinct impression that I wasn't doing anything.
I do not believe the universe is conscious and was moving me. IMO that's just wooshit. If the universe is conscious then it's nothing that our little monkey brains can grok and thinking otherwise is just your ego telling you how special you are.
What I think happened is that I hit the right state of mind and dropped all my stories. So as I rinsed and moved to dry my face I was just watching. I wasn't participating in any way, I was just letting my body do something it had done lots of times before. My current view is that this is what we're trying to achieve with meditation, getting to a state where our brain will just relax and things be without the need to make up stories and explain things.
Equanimity
Equanimity is where I was at yesterday. That's only the second time I've found myself there. I like it.