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| books:leonard_and_hungry_paul [2023-06-16 00:32] – [Chapter 14] awfki | books:leonard_and_hungry_paul [2023-06-20 12:03] (current) – [Chapter 6] awfki | ||
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| - | I get that sentiment but it comes from bullshit definitions of maleness. If you're male then any way that you behave is a form of maleness. The most flamboyantly feminine gay man exhibits maleness in his every move because maleness is a spectrum that runs from super butch assholes who are afraid of their feelings to ultra feminine queers who cry at the drop of a hat. Why would limit maleness, especially if you're male? The answer is, because you're trying to fit in with a tribe that believes stupid things. | + | I get that sentiment but it comes from bullshit definitions of maleness. If you're male then any way that you behave is a form of maleness. The most flamboyantly feminine gay man exhibits maleness in his every move because maleness is a spectrum that runs from super butch assholes who are afraid of their feelings to ultra feminine queers who cry at the drop of a hat. Why would you limit maleness, especially if you're male? The answer is, because you're trying to fit in with a tribe that believes stupid things. |
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| + | I don't know that it's true but it wouldn' | ||
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| Memories feel real but they’re not. | Memories feel real but they’re not. | ||
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| - | HP is a Zen master... | ||
| + | FIXME - some good Buddhism here | ||
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| One time I was going on about work and how I was overlooked for promotion and how ageist it all was and he just cuts me off and says “That’s just a story.” Nothing more. Just like that. “That’s just a story.” And the thing is he was right. It was just a story I was telling myself. When I stopped telling it, it went away.’ | One time I was going on about work and how I was overlooked for promotion and how ageist it all was and he just cuts me off and says “That’s just a story.” Nothing more. Just like that. “That’s just a story.” And the thing is he was right. It was just a story I was telling myself. When I stopped telling it, it went away.’ | ||
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| + | FIXME - more buddhism | ||
| THIS! THIS! THIS! It's all just bullshit stories that we're telling ourselves and the stories make us miserable. But the stories are optional. | THIS! THIS! THIS! It's all just bullshit stories that we're telling ourselves and the stories make us miserable. But the stories are optional. | ||
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| I am just sorry it took me so long to realise I was holding you back, but not in the way you think. I have been holding you back by letting you hold onto this precious, fictional version of yourself. You’re addicted to your own competence. I should have tried sooner to help you so that you could discover for yourself how impossible it is to help somebody.’ | I am just sorry it took me so long to realise I was holding you back, but not in the way you think. I have been holding you back by letting you hold onto this precious, fictional version of yourself. You’re addicted to your own competence. I should have tried sooner to help you so that you could discover for yourself how impossible it is to help somebody.’ | ||
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| Yes, our parents will grow old and yes they will get sick and yes they will die, but that will happen to us two as well. Where you’re wrong is that you think that’s a problem in the future. But it’s not. The answer to that problem is to spend time with them now. Be in their lives so that when the worst happens—which we hope is many years away—there will have been ten, twenty, however many years of Scrabble, University Challenge, curries, walks, gardening and whatever else behind us. And then, when the time comes we’ll know what to do. Not because we’ll have it all figured it out but because we will have had the habit, the practice, of loving them and being with them, and the utter clarity that comes with that. | Yes, our parents will grow old and yes they will get sick and yes they will die, but that will happen to us two as well. Where you’re wrong is that you think that’s a problem in the future. But it’s not. The answer to that problem is to spend time with them now. Be in their lives so that when the worst happens—which we hope is many years away—there will have been ten, twenty, however many years of Scrabble, University Challenge, curries, walks, gardening and whatever else behind us. And then, when the time comes we’ll know what to do. Not because we’ll have it all figured it out but because we will have had the habit, the practice, of loving them and being with them, and the utter clarity that comes with that. | ||
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| * **perspicacious**: | * **perspicacious**: | ||
| * **mews house**: A mews is a row or courtyard of stables and carriage houses with living quarters above them, built behind large city houses before motor vehicles replaced horses. | * **mews house**: A mews is a row or courtyard of stables and carriage houses with living quarters above them, built behind large city houses before motor vehicles replaced horses. | ||
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